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| Where two parties in a contract do not have "consensus ad idem" there is an indication of "the untrammeled autonomy of the individual will." (To use a phrase from Gilmore).
The concept is mentioned in my contracts book reflecting how each of the parties in a contract has their own "will." Consensus ad idem is sometimes defined as of the same, in agreement or a meeting of the minds. I would interpret what I just wrote to say where, in a contract, there is no meeting of the minds there is a reflection of a conflict of two wills. "Untrammeled autonomy" or autonomy that is not overrun is the quality of the individual will. The individual has a strong will that not be overrun. The fact that Gilmore says "the" individual will seems to indicate also that each person has this strong will that will not be overrun.
Now, myself.
My mother has often called me willful...and stubborn. Yet strangely I have also often been called flaky or indecisive (by other people). It is true there are moments where I cannot decide on something but...is indecision based on the fact that one cannot make a decision at a particular moment OR that they cannot make a decision ever. I would say in my defense that I do make a decision eventually but a period of indecision exists (and this is where I am labeled indecisive) where I contemplate the pros and cons of deciding one way or another, a period where I contemplate the consequences or results of making any particular decision.
Willfulness in one way shows...persistence. A phrase I've heard in the negative is "an indomitable will." Sounds formidable I guess. But if you think about it willfulness as persistence proves strength to the finish. A journey started WILL be finished. Or rather once a person's mind if made up, it cannot be changed.
Of course, in some ways the power of the "will" scares me. In a fight where there is a battle of wills, those with "the untrammeled autonomy" where no one will compromise there is inevitably an impasse. In the Contracts book, there is a breach of the contract. The contract cannot be carried out as intended because one will is pulling the contract in one direction and the other will is pulling it in the other; the contract breaks: BREACH. So the power of the will scares me in that where one person so willful will not compromise you stand to lose something, a contract...a relationship.
The power of the will scares me too in that making up one's mind is great when setting a goal but what if there are goals that are beyond our control to attain. We set our minds and hearts on something; those are both so powerful, the heart and the mind. It's like the word...enamor which means to charm or captivate. But when someone is "enamored" they are so completely focused on whatever the object of person they are enamored with. Being so focused on something, someone seems dangerous because, especially with people, you cannot necessarily have control. In reaching for your goal you cannot control all elements. In such pursuit you put everything into it, heart, mind and soul; you stand to lose so much. It's scary. In that it almost seems better to relinquish control because you never really have it in the first place.
Maybe that's the challenge of the "autonomy of the untrammeled will," that the issue may not be struggling with the other person but just struggling with ourselves. Learning to not be so willful, to just let go.
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| "Hide the crazy." =(
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Merits. Questions of law. Questions of fact. Judgment on the pleadings. Rule 12c.
What I should know. What I don't know. I don't know what I should know. By now.
Socrates said something like, a wise man knows what he does not know. Well I know that I don't know a lot. But this only makes me feel depressed because I feel like I SHOULD know more. How can a person who doesn't know much be wise? Even if he does know what he doesn't know, this doesn't rectify the fact that he still knows little.
Rambling. That's all I do. It makes no sense. Why can't I be more logical?
And yet, there is NO CORRECT ANSWER.
I miss the security of a CORRECT ANSWER.
Something that I can be SURE of. Something that I can REST my head on.
It's so scary to not be sure of anything. To know NOTHING.
maybe I shouldn't write in caps anymore. they're so harsh...looking.
*sigh*
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| ...when people ask other people what I think/feel about something/someone rather than asking me directly. Usually this leads to a person assuming incorrectly that I am more familiar with this third person that I really am...which also results in less accurate information. Less accurate information leads to further incorrect assumptions as to what I think and feel.
I'm a pretty private person and if I think a person doesn't truly understand or may not be able to keep a secret I will say nothing. The closer something is to me, the more I'll hold it in.
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In some ways I just like to disappear sometimes. There's a sense of adventure in being completely alone...or not necessarily being alone because there will always be people around but being alone as in being a stranger in a place where no one knows you. I don't necessarily want people to know where I am at any given time. In some ways I know I'm entitled to my space, entitled to be alone...but I definitely would feel bad having to tell someone, "Hey, sorry I just kind of want to be on my own right now." Somehow it seems there is no nice way to do that. Mm.
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| Sorry everyone on the West Coast I called at 4am Hawaii time. I forgot that Daylight Savings was over and you guys are actually now only 2 hours ahead instead of three. So instead of calling you all at the barely reasonable time of 7am I called you all at 6am, some of you on your day off.
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| I am trying to be healthier and my plan is to eat one apple a day for lunch. This plan is also cost-effective because an apple is less than a dollar or a dollar (if I buy it at the campus center) as opposed to a $6 plate lunch (or a more than $6 plate lunch).
Side comment: I think buying a plate lunch for fundraising for a student organization is worth it because it helps the organization but in retrospect I wish I had budgeted a certain amount of money for that type of stuff (law school events such as the 1L party, joining student org fees and also fundraising amounts). I do not budget AT ALL but maybe this awareness of how I could budget is one step in the right direction.
Back to the apple. So I had an apple for dinner tonight too. I could have eaten Zippy's or Bangkok Chef, restaurants I usually choose because I feel I get a lot for what I pay for, considering I eat A LOT. I was considering going to Z or BC but then I realized I should eat healthier and then the idea came to me: I would eat an apple! After I came to this breaking realization I immediately drove to Safeway and what do you know? They had Fuji apples for $0.99/lb. I bought 5, one for dinner tonight and 1 for each of the days I'll be in school this week. That's right, I'll only be in school FOUR DAYS. Yay for one day I can spend the WHOLE DAY AT HOME and SLEEP IN. SO LOOKING FORWARD TO THAT.
My head hurts so I think I'll go home soon.
Did this entry bore you? I hope so.
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